


Ennoshita Chikara Is Not Your Captain

by Karasuno Volleygays (ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: BroTP feelings, Gen, Mild Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-25
Updated: 2015-04-25
Packaged: 2018-03-25 17:52:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3819499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor/pseuds/Karasuno%20Volleygays
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As the bus trundles home, Ennoshita Chikara contemplates the place he is supposed to take for the next season, and not for the first time, he thinks that he is Not Ready for that kind of responsibility.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ennoshita Chikara Is Not Your Captain

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the 30 Day Kagehina Challenge Day 24: on the bus.

The bus ride home after Karasuno’s narrow victory over Aobajousai is a long one. It doesn’t take more than a mile or so before the utterly exhausted starters, spent from back to back matches against Wakutaniminami and Seijou, began to fall asleep. Even Yachi has fallen prey to sleep as she slumps against Shimizu.

However, one alert set of eyes does not succumb to the rhythmic lull of the vehicle. Ennoshita Chikara is wide awake in the back of the bus and wishing he is not.

The match against Wakutaniminami _haunts_ him.

Every blink is a slideshow of missed receives and lackluster hustle, every breath a scream of frustration at his own faulty abilities. Each heartbeat a pulsating reminder that he is not nor will ever be a replacement for Sawamura Daichi.

Each moment Ennoshita stood on the court during that match is a stark reminder that he is a spare part, a stopgap until their real captain could take back his rightful place. He can’t even quantify the number of points that he had given up that Daichi would have easily returned to their setter for an attack. Actually, he can count, but he doesn’t want to throw up on Tanaka, who is dozing next to him.

Daichi and Suga had pulled Ennoshita aside weeks ago and discussed the future of the team with him.

_“You’re the clear choice to be the next captain, Ennoshita.”_

_“I know you can do it. Nobody could wrangle this band of misfits better than you.”_

_“But what if I fail?”_

_“You wouldn’t dream of it.”_

Except he does. All the time. Every time a ball is sent his way for a spike, whether in practice or his first taste of a match since training camp in Tokyo, brings a flood of doubt tightly bound to his ability to receive it. Sometimes, it will go where he needs it to go, and others it will careen off into no man’s land. He can’t guide an entire team when he doesn’t even have full command over himself.

But he never takes his mind off the reality that he can and probably should decline the captaincy if and when Ukai approaches him with the offer. Let it fall to one of the surer players, the ones with the knowledge and the wherewithal to propel their rocket-powered first years to the top where they belong.

Narita is a good choice. He can quote rules verbatim, which is why he often officiates practice matches and scrimmages. Kinoshita is a motivator, with an uncanny ability to coax a genuine smile out of anyone on the team. Even Kageyama, in his own way.

_But not me_ , he thinks. _Ennoshita Chikara is not your captain._

With that, he decides to talk to Ukai after Spring Highs are over and refuse the position before it is ever offered. It will probably doom his chances of being a regular, even as a third year, but he can’t be so selfish as to condemn the rest of the team into going down with him. He can suffer solo; it’s the only right thing to do.

His thoughts are interrupted by a loud yawn and the sound of lips smacking. Ennoshita doesn’t need to look to his right to know it’s Tanaka.

“Whassa matter, Chika?”

Ennoshita can’t help but chortle at the barely intelligible question. “Go back to sleep, Tanaka.”

Ignoring his command, Tanaka sits up, careful to not disturb the unconscious Nishinoya next to him, and stretches his arms. “You look like you swallowed a beehive, man.”

_That about sums it up_ , Ennoshita thinks as he considers the angry roiling in his stomach. “It’s nothing,” he says, hoping Tanaka will continue his streak of being utterly unperceptive of people and go back to sleep.

But Tanaka shakes his head. “No, I know that look, Chikara. You’re thinking too much. Something is going on in that head of yours, and you need to turn it off.”

The sternness on Tanaka’s face would be laughable if Ennoshita didn’t feel like he’s been read like a book. “I said I’m fine, Ryuu. I’m just tired.”

Tanaka snorts. “Bullshit. You have that angsty look on your face, like when you’re watching a movie and you can’t figure out why you hate it.”

Briefly, Ennoshita wonders if he does indeed make that face before he shakes his head. “Please, just go back to sleep. I don’t want to talk right now.”

Tanaka fixes him with a long gaze. “You’re worried, aren’t you? Dai-san was talking about it a while back, about you maybe being the next captain. Today must have thrown you off.”

Ennoshita colors and shakes his head like a child refusing vegetables. “I can’t do it. I’m not ready for this, and I don’t want to waste the last year we have left by playing at captain. I’m not good enough on or off the court, and all the first years are better than I am already.”

He doesn’t know what to expect from Tanaka, but a squeeze of the hand and a soft pat on the cheek are not on the list of possibilities. Yet Ennoshita finds himself drawn into Tanaka’s intense gaze couched in an unusually soft look. “Chikara, it’ll be all right. There is no one on this team who doesn’t think you can do it, but no one is surer that you can than me.” Tanaka hiccups and diverts his eyes. “Whatever my opinion is worth, anyway.”

Ennoshita gapes at Tanaka, his mouth hanging slack. He remembers something Daichi once said back when Hinata was very green and very disruptive with his lack of skill. Tanaka is someone who is honest to a fault, who can come out and say whatever is on his mind as easily and freely as one might button a shirt.

While Ennoshita is not foolish enough to trust Tanaka’s judgment indiscriminately, he does know that Tanaka doesn’t say anything he doesn’t think of as the complete truth. And even if Ennoshita doesn’t believe he is half of what Tanaka says he is, he is very aware that Tanaka doesn’t say these things lightly.

“Thanks, Ryuu,” he says. “I don’t think it’s going to work out half as well as you say it will, but your opinion is definitely worth a lot.”

Tanaka beams at him. “You’ll see. You’re gonna be the captain who shows our idiot kouhai how it’s done, and I’m gonna be your vice and your ace. They’d all be lost without us, and we’re going to make sure they know it.”

Ennoshita chuckles at Tanaka’s savage grin, and it is infectious. Warmth spreads through him as he thinks about the utter confidence someone like Tanaka Ryuunosuke has in someone as dull and uninspiring as Ennoshita. He doesn’t deserve praise like this, but he’s going to take it anyway.

With a lazy smile, Ennoshita pats Tanaka’s hand and says, “I’ll believe it when I see it, Baldy.” He ignores Tanaka’s sputtered protest and leans against the other boy’s shoulder. As he gives in to the urge to drift off, Ennoshita can’t help but think that he’s going to lean on Tanaka a lot, and it’s not such a bad prospect after all.


End file.
